An accountant is talking to the young child of one of his friends and says, "Do you know what I do?'
"Daddy says you're a CPA."
"That's right. Did he tell you what CPA stands for?"
"Well, he says you're a complete pain in the arse."
The managing partner in an accounting firm is very annoyed with one of his junior partners and has called him in to chastise him.
"How could you possibly advise the client in the way you did? That was completely unethical. We are always conscious of Ethics in this firm. You do know what Ethics is don't you?"
The young partner is offended. "Of course I know what Ethics is. It's a county in southern England."
An Arthur Anderson partner comes back to his office and says to his manager, "Did you get my message where I said, 'Ship the Enron documents to the Feds'?"
The manager goes white. "Oh My God! I thought you said rip the Enron documents to shreds."
An auditor is checking the books of an airline. He is puzzled by the excess use of fuel on a Melbourne to Canberra flight. He rings up the pilot and asks for an explanation.
"It was late at night'" says the pilot, "Canberra was covered in fog and I lost my bearings."
"I'm sorry," says the auditor, "but you'll have to bear the cost yourself."
"The cost of what?" asks the pilot.
"Of the bearings you lost."
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