Tax Auditors (4)

A man, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds. "Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"
"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."


The trouble with the profession of income-tax inspectors is that 90% of its members give the rest a bad name.


A taxpayer is someone who works for the federal government but who doesn't have to take a civil service examination (Ronald Reagan)

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 tax decision: "Where else are you going to read the paper? Outside? What if it rains?" (Dave Barry, "Sweating Out Taxes)

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