What's the definition of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
What's the definition of a good tax accountant?
Someone who has a loophole named after him.
When does a person decide to become an accountant?
When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
Why did God invent economists?
So accountants could have someone to laugh at.
What's an actuary?
An accountant without the sense of humour.
Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries?
They find bookkeeping too exciting.
What do actuaries do to liven up their office party?
Invite an accountant.
What does an accountant use for birth control?
His personality.
What's the difference between the male sperm and an accountant?
The sperm has a 1 in 250,000 chance of becoming human.
What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
The accountant knows he is boring.
What's an extroverted accountant?
One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.
What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone?
Popular
What's the definition of unlikely?
A photo-spread in Playboy titled 'The World's Top Accountants - Nude!'.
What's an accountant's idea of trashing his hotel room?
Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.
What did the terrorist who hijacked a plane full of accountants threaten to do if his demands weren't met?
Release one every hour.
What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?
Go into town and gang-audit someone.
What do accountants do for fun?
Add the telephone book.
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