If an accountant's wife can't get to sleep, what does she say?
"Tell me about work today, dear"
When do accountants laugh out loud?
When somebody asks for a raise
Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays?
They can wear casual clothes to work
How does an accountant make a bold fashion statement?
He wears his grey suit instead of the blue
How do you know when an accountant's on holidays?
He doesn't wear a tie to work and comes in after 8.30.
What would Economics be without assumptions?
Accounting
What does CPA stand for?
Can't Produce Anything
What does FCPA stand for?
Finally Caught Pinching the Assets
What's an auditor?
Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
Why did the auditor cross the road?
Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
Why did he cross back?
So he could charge the client for travel expenses.
How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb?
How many did it take last year?
How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to check it was done within budget.
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